I give up.

Wednesday, I was suspecting my water might have broken in one of those slow and you-hardly-notice ways... so I called the doctor to ask. Of course, they side with caution, so they asked us to go ahead and pack up and go in. It was a 2 hour field trip to find out water had in fact NOT broken, I was still at 3 cm and they sent us home. Nurse said until contractions are 3/4 minutes apart and you are unable to speak through them, to just stay home.

Thursday, I awoke with crazy nausea. Thinking this was just part of this unbelievably drawn out first stage of labor I'm in... but then it hit. I must have come down with the stomach bug that Ayla had earlier in the week. Unlike her, after I was sick, I wasn't feeling much better. So I spent the day in bed being nursed by Ayla and Jim came home early from work in the afternoon. Feeling discouraged? completely. Last night I was contracting like crazy... they were strong at times but all over the board... 20 minutes, then 5 minutes, then 8 minutes, 20 again, 10... I timed them for a couple of hours, then just went to bed and continued to contract all night.

The only remedy we've heard of that we haven't tried yet is castor oil (yum). Jim picked some up on his way home and I planned on taking it, but the label said not to take when experiencing nausea or vomiting. Gonna have to wait until this stomach bug passes. It's the last card we have to play, so I want to make sure it counts. Everything so far has made an impact, but either my body or the baby just won't get totally in sync.

So today, Friday, I'm resigned. I give up. I'm so tired of trying to instigate labor and not getting a solid response. Today is for fun and frivolous. Today is free day. Today, I'm letting go.